Help edit this piece of writing?

I think it's good! Actually, great! All of your punctuation seems okay to me, but I hope you know if you ever look into publishing this, they don't allow stars in place of curse words... :D keep writing! Its great! Oh, and that strange man above me? He's wrong, you don't use all caps letters EVER in a book. If you want to use emphasis on something, use that sideways slash letters. Obviously, he hasn't read any books.