Saturday, July 16, 2011

Super short story- The chair, does it flow well?

You obviously know what your story is about because you wrote it but I am afraid that I never understood it at all. Some of the sentences are too short and stilted and others you have cut short so they don't make sense e.g. the third sentence beginning "The guns on the wall etc" Also a clock does not toll, a bell does. You can say the clock chimes but not tolls. I think you are trying too hard to be mysterious and you have not given the reader any information as to the point of the story. Good luck with your writing.

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